Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Greetings good citizen,

How long can you hold your breath? The question becomes meaningless when there is no available oxygen in the vicinity.

But let’s continue as a thought experiment…the actual amount of time doesn’t matter. You’re no better off if you can hold your breath for three minutes or five, even if you’re a ‘pearl diver’ and can hold your breath for seven minutes without turning blue it’s fairly universal that in ten minutes, no matter who you are, you’re dead!

I’m going to stick my obligatory ‘fuck Republicans’ here to get it out of the way (let me throw in a gratuitous ‘fuck Democrats’ since most voters today are ‘independents’ because they caught on to the asshole conservatives running as liberals deception.)

What’s this have to do with being able to hold your breath?

The question is intended to focus your attention on a crucial factor that brain dead economists keep ignoring and that is ‘we don’t have ‘forever’ to play with here!’

The clock keeps fucking ticking, once the timer hits zero…KABOOM!

Maybe we should phrase it like Bill Cosby did…(Noah:) how long can you tread water?

Which is to ask how long you can survive in an economy that has no need for you?

This is a serious dilemma and it requires a damn near immediate solution!

The ONLY reason it is not a problem this second is because most idiots still think their inability to find a job is ‘their fault’.

Not true! I heard some douchebag on NPR last night talking about how not having a college diploma made you ‘unemployable’.

Yet another told a ‘joke’: ‘in the future every company will only have two employees, a man and a dog. The man’s job will be to feed the dog. The dog’s job is to make sure the man doesn’t touch the equipment.’

How idiot economists can even theorize, much less joke about this situation draws our attention to a species threatening problem…if all jobs become ‘automated’ who the fuck is going to ‘buy’ the output from the automated facilities?

Does the obvious answer (nobody) mean that in the very scary future, the only ones alive will be the ‘owners’? Can our gene pool survive that much ‘shrinkage’?

I personally have a problem with the ‘peaceful euthanization’ of the non-owning population. Anyone who thinks time will not be a factor in the upcoming collapse of civilization had better think again.

Time is a toughie; here we are, three years into the (most recent) economic ‘meltdown’ and ‘the wheels’ haven’t come off…yet. (Winter is coming and tens of millions are homeless…)

Every night it’s the same bullshit, when will the housing market recover?

I can answer that one…and the answer is NEVER!

YOU aren’t going to find anyone who makes enough to qualify for a loan to buy your home (should you still have one.)

The international ‘race to the bottom’ has made sure of that.

No jobs = no qualified buyers.

See how easy that was?

Um, in case you haven’t noticed, there aren’t any jobs on the horizon either. Our population continues to grow but the, er, ‘need’ for labor continues to, er, ‘shrink’.

This, amazingly enough, is not the government’s (a.k.a. Commerce’s) problem, it’s YOURS!

Do you understand that without ‘government intervention’ this, er, ‘imbalance’ isn’t going to get fixed?

Hell, it isn’t even part of the ‘national dialog’!

A Simple Plan addresses this crisis by shortening the workday/week and making housing a ‘freebie’ (meaning you no longer pay for it but you also no longer own it, you just get to ‘use’ it.)

See how easy that was?

[Um, that popping sound you hear is just the sound of capitalist’s heads exploding, don’t let it worry you…unless yours in next.]

There is no room for ownership in a world that MUST BE shared!

If that statement confuses you, even a little (capitalist upbringing aside), your god is calling! Do us all a favor and ‘self-expedite’ your face to face meeting with your deity!

This brings us to ‘mass lunacy’ (social conservatism) part two…taxes.

The cash-strapped governments across the country are facing local referendums to reduce taxes.

The question of whether or not the ‘tax rebels’ are stupid has already been answered, they are, profoundly!

If you ‘cut’ taxes, they’ll just raise ‘fees’! How much will you pay for your driver’s license now? The puppy already costs $70, (here) why not make it an even C-note?

Um, ‘ironically’, there are zero ‘taxes or fees’ under ‘A Simple Plan’. Why is this? Because ‘A Simple Plan’ was engineered with ‘the one useful purpose of money’ in mind.

All ‘money’ is funny and simply changing government won’t alter that fact.

The government (even now) doesn’t ‘need’ your money to function, it is simply used as an ‘excuse’ not to act.

How many times have you heard ‘we don’t have the money’? [We have no money to relieve poverty or cure disease, but we have an endless supply to make war!]

Why aren’t you entitled to a ‘free’ college education? (Because it removes the ‘college premium’ [rarity] from the college ‘selling points’.)

Um, ironically, college is ‘removed’ from ‘A Simple Plan’ entirely; your ongoing ‘education’ is free, on the job.

Um, considering the reduced workweek, ‘higher education’ will continue to be available on a part-time basis, for free, for life.

A Simple plan really is ‘simple’, it is commerce for the purpose of enriching all humankind (since we are all, er, ‘shareholders’.)

DON’T neglect to go to the polls next Tuesday and if you can’t figure out who to vote for, write my damn name down in the space provided!

Thanks for letting me inside your head,


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