Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Adios Bible thumpers!

Greetings good citizen,

Just when I thought I wouldn’t have much to write about today this wacky news item pops up on my e – mail homepage.

Camping is not hedging this time: "Beyond the shadow of a doubt, May 21 will be the date of the Rapture and the day of judgment," he said in January.

Such predictions are nothing new, but Camping's latest has been publicized with exceptional vigor — not just by Family Radio but through like-minded groups. They've spread the word using radio, satellite TV, daily website updates, billboards, subway ads, RV caravans hitting dozens of cities and missionaries scattered from Latin America to Asia.

Hmmn…I’m not going anywhere (at least I don’t think my heathen backside is slated for salvation…I can no sooner conceive of eternal bliss anymore than I can get my head around eternal damnation.)

But for you believers out there, maybe you should be tending to your final arrangements and saying good-bye to those you’re reasonably sure you won’t be seeing on the other side.

Although, talk about your ‘slippery slopes’, thinking poorly of others might be enough to jeopardize your salvation…which pretty much guarantees nobody is going!

In fact, this particular sect that is calling this coming Saturday as ‘R’ Day is of the opinion that it is already too late to make amends.

If you didn’t recognize Jesus Christ as your savior before 1994, you’re too late.

Actually, the article says it is too late for the Church to save you after 1994, apparently you can still save yourself by staying away from the ‘corrupt’ churches.

Um, if the rapture is indeed this coming Saturday then who the hell was the Anti-Christ?

Conservatives say the current incumbent is the anti-christ but if this is true then he is an even bigger disappointment as the ‘epitomy of evil’ as he was as Chief Executive!

The words ‘epic fail’ come to mind.

A milque toast as the Anti-Christ…go figure?

Anyway, I admonish all of you to bid the ‘Holier than thou’ among us a heartfelt ‘good riddance’ just in case we really are quit of them as of this weekend.

This could make for a very interesting Monday morning, don’t you think?

Show of hands; how many of you are twisted enough to call in to the local morning radio show DJ and wish all of the Jesus Freaks a hearty ‘adios!’?

I would piss my pants laughing if any of you did!

Sorry, I’m just a little twisted myself.

Okay, maybe more than a little…

And speaking of ‘twisted’, how about those Republicans?

The ‘local rag’ (for those of you not familiar with my local newspaper, it is, er, decidedly [and unapologetically] Republican leaning.) ran a story concerning our newly minted Republican Senator, Scott Brown.

It seems Mr. Brown ‘gave the impression’ that he WOULD vote for the Ryan budget during a speech he made to (who else) but the local Chamber of Commerce.

AND wasn’t the local rag ‘covering his tracks’ today, re-interpreting his statement to mean that ‘yes, he would vote on the Ryan budget but he was still ‘undecided’ as to whether or not he was going to vote in favor of the very unpopular legislation.

Well, the astute among you don’t need to know anything more about Mr. Brown apart for the fact that he’s a Republican and so is Mr. Ryan.

How many of you think FOR ONE STINKING SECOND that it is not a foregone conclusion that Mr. Brown WILL VOTE IN LOCKSTEP with his fellow Republicans?

You have to be SOME KIND OF STUPID to even imagine otherwise!

How sad is it that ‘some kind of stupid’ accurately describes the ‘one in five’ crowd? (only one in five self identifies as a conservative/Republican.)

Yes good citizen, it is, er, ‘remarkable’ that Democrat dominated Massachusetts ‘somehow’ elected a Republican Senator to replace a Kennedy no less!

Which serves as more proof that those who own the media throughly control our politics.

Need more ‘proof’? how about this story from today’s Alternet ?

Senate Vote to End Subsidies for Big Oil Fails--Blame Ben Nelson

The U.S. Senate had a vote tonight on "a bill to reduce the Federal budget deficit by closing big oil tax loopholes." Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins actually voted for it. But no other Republicans did. And three Democrats voted against it. Can you guess who they were? Two of them are kind of obvious. Mark Begich of Alaska and Mary Landrieu of Louisiana represent petro-states. But Ben Nelson represents Nebraska. The Department of Energy says that Nebraska's oil reserves are "small." So, why did Nelson oppose the bill? Anyone want to guess?

How convenient is it for the elite that a few stupid rules make it simple for them to defeat the entire process of democracy?

Did I mention that the system is broken beyond repair?

But I didn’t have to, you already knew!

Thanks for letting me inside your head,

And a hearty ADIOS to all of you Bible thumpers!


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